Five back to school tips for kids and parents
As the sun begins to set on the long, leisurely days of summer break, it's time to embrace a new chapter as the school year approaches. While this fresh start may bring excitement, it can also bring a wave of overwhelming feelings for both children and parents. To help navigate this transition and ease into the upcoming academic year, Amanda Carter, the program manager of JFS’s KidSuccess program, shares her advice to prepare for the school year.
Allow space for your child to talk about transitioning from summer to beginning school.
When children anticipate a significant source of stress, such as the return to school, it’s common for their behavior to undergo changes. They may exhibit more tearful moments, become clingy, or display irritability. As a caregiver, it is crucial to observe these changes with a nurturing and non-judgmental approach.
If you notice these behavioral shifts in your child, it can be helpful to acknowledge them openly. You might say, “I've noticed you're experiencing some intense emotions lately. Would you like to talk about what's on your mind?” By initiating the conversation in a caring manner, you create a safe space for your child to share their thoughts and feelings.
If your child is not naturally inclined to verbalize their emotions, engaging in creative activities can be a wonderful alternative. Drawing or playing with themes related to returning to school can provide an outlet for self-expression. Through these activities, your child may find it easier to explore their emotions indirectly, fostering a deeper understanding of their concerns.
Remember, the goal is to create an environment that encourages open communication and emotional exploration. By noticing and addressing your child's changing behavior in a supportive manner, you can help them navigate their anxieties surrounding the return to school and provide them with the tools to manage their emotions effectively.
2. Be an active listener.
When adults aim to prepare their child for a stressful event, such as returning to school, they often have a natural inclination to engage in a processing conversation. However, it’s crucial to resist the urge to immediately jump into “problem solver mode” and instead give your child the space to express themselves. Allowing your child to take the lead in the conversation is essential.
To create an environment where your child feels heard, it's helpful to reflect on what they are saying. For instance, you might say, “I understand that you're feeling sad about summer coming to an end.” This reflection validates their emotions and demonstrates that you are actively listening and trying to understand their perspective.
Before responding, it's important to pause and ask yourself, “W*A*I*T”—Why am I talking? This acronym serves as a reminder to give your child ample time to verbalize their concerns without interruptions. By taking this moment to wait, you prioritize their need to express themselves fully before offering your input or suggestions.
By giving your child space to share their thoughts and feelings, and actively listening without rushing to solve problems, you create a supportive environment for their emotional expression. This approach helps your child feel understood and encourages them to continue sharing their concerns, facilitating a deeper connection, and fostering their emotional well-being.
3. Validate their emotions and experiences.
It’s important to acknowledge that experiencing strong emotions, facing challenges, and going through stressful periods are all normal aspects of growing up and being human. Validating your child's feelings by using their own words, such as saying, “Yes, going back to school can be difficult,” helps normalize their experience. By validating their emotions, you demonstrate understanding and support, letting them know that it is okay to feel the way they do.
It's crucial to remember that learning to handle intense emotions is a developmental skill. Validating your child's feelings is the initial step in this process, as it reassures them that you are there to assist them. By creating a safe and validating environment, you provide your child with the reassurance they need, fostering their emotional growth and building a foundation of trust and support.
4. Model healthy ways of managing stress and self-care.
Children often learn how to handle stress and manage their emotions by observing the adults in their lives. It is crucial for adults to model healthy stress management whenever possible. It's okay to admit when you're not okay and express your own emotions in a healthy way. For example, you can say, “I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I'm going to take three deep breaths to help me calm down.”
By sharing your own experiences and demonstrating coping strategies, you show children that intense emotions are temporary and can be managed. The objective is not to eliminate stress altogether but to empower children with the knowledge that they can handle it.
This approach normalizes the experience of having big feelings and provides practical examples of how to navigate them. By showcasing healthy stress management techniques, you equip children with valuable tools for their own emotional well-being. Through your modeling, children learn that it is possible to manage stress and that they can do so themselves.
5. Adjustment takes time.
After the school routine is established, it is important to give both yourself and your child time to adjust. Expect that there may be challenges along the way and understand that stress levels may fluctuate. It is crucial to grant yourself and your child compassion and understanding, even if you believe they have already adapted.
Child development does not always progress in a linear fashion; there may be moments of regression or setbacks. Embrace these bumps in the road as part of the process. Instead, focus on celebrating the small positive changes and moments that occur with your child. By acknowledging and appreciating the progress, no matter how small, you create a supportive and encouraging environment.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your child. Allow room for growth, learning, and occasional struggles. By embracing the journey with grace, you foster resilience, strengthen your bond, and create a nurturing atmosphere for your child's ongoing development.
Learn more about our JFS mental health services today!